One picture and one thought

I have finally connected this blog to my Google+ account, tired of trying to figure out how to share my posts. I was tired of "+1"ing my own stuff so it would show up for my circles.

Knitting without a pattern

People who see me knitting always ask what I'm making. It's inevitable. Even if it's obviously something like a sock. It doesn't bother me so much if it's a sock or a sweater or a scarf or a hat. It's when I'm free styling that it bothers me. I alway start with a goal in mind, but I don't always know how I'm going to get there or how it will end up looking. Sometimes you'll see me halfway in on one occasion, and on the next, I'll have ripped it all out and started again.

Knitting without a pattern is like cooking without a recipe. There's no guarantee that what you're making will turn out, or that you'll be able to duplicate it. And heaven forbid anyone else wants to make one too.

It can also be extremely frustrating. The third or fourth time you rip something out and start again, you start to wonder if it's worth it. The end product usually is worth the frustration, but it's sometimes hard to see the end when you're stuck in the middle trying to figure out how to shape the head or neck or wing. But if you can get through that, it only gets easier. Because of this, I can't always be knitting crazy things sans pattern. I have to take occasional breaks and knit somei more boring like socks.

The way I knit tends to be like sculpting. Only once have I written down instructions for he to make something I created. I have no idea if the person I gave them to was able to follow them. I suspect the answer might be "no". It was not a pattern for the faint of heart, or a casual or beginning knitter. There aren't any fancy stitches, but there's a lot of increasing and decreasing and counting of rows and stitches, and knowing where the heck you are in the process. You have to pay attention. And it doesn't take me terribly long to finish things, but I can see it taking a long time for someone else. And someone who is oriented toward finishing projects might decide it isn't worth the effort.

Why do I do it then? I know how to use Google to find patterns. There are books full of patterns. Ravelry is full of patterns. I'd rather just do it myself. Many of the patterns I've found to make knitted animals are even more complicated than what I do, and they often don't end up looking how I expect they should (or looking stupid). I decided I could probably do better, so I did

And that's the randomosity for tonight.

Some random stuff

1. New job is not so new anymore. I am very happy there and convinced that I made the right decision. Especially once I realized how crappy my old salary actually was. And I have my weekends back. I can truly relax on weekends, not spend the time stressing about what I have to deal with at work on Momday. It is magnificent.

2. Three weeks ago tomorrow, I broke my foot (which you probably already know). This is my first broken bone. Ever (that toe as a child was not confirmed as broken, and toes don't count). It turns out that cuboid bones don't appreciate bending that way. Fortunately, there was an urgent care clinic nearby that stayed open until 10pm. Thanks, Allina Clinics! And with my new insurance I was able to go see my doctor. The one I'm comfortable with. She had no idea about my broken foot, but she was able to pull up my urgent care info and refer me to orthopedics (to placate the insurance company). It was good to see her again. I hated having insurance that wouldn't let me see her.

3. Back to orthopedics tomorrow afternoon. Taking bets on if I'll need a regular shoe when I leave the doctor's office.

4. Playing the piano with a broken right foot is challenging. That's my sustain pedal foot! I haven't even tried the organ.

5. Most importantly, I got Cheetos at the grocery store last night.

One less key on my keyring

I turned in my office key this morning. I didn't make a big deal of it, I just handed the key to my soon-to-be-former boss. On the outside I kept it cool, but inside I was grinning something fierce. It felt so damn good to know that in less than 8 hours, I would be free of WG and any future contact would be on my terms. I worked very hard for her for 10 years (9 years if you don't count my first year of contract employment). I put up with everything she dished out (with a couple of notable exceptions). I worked for her longer than any other employee.

And I did all of this for a less-than-market-rate salary and shitty benefits. I did all of this with minimal feedback (even though the employee handbook specifically states that each employee will get AT LEAST one yearly review). I did all of this knowing that eventually I would reach a place where there was no further advancement. I spent not a small amount of time worrying about whether or not the company would still be around in six months.

I plan to go to my new job and not talk about the old job. I've worked with people who came in to a new job and spent their first three months bitching about how awful it was at their old job. It makes you come across as unprofessional. I never want to be that person. So I have to get it all out over the weekend. I started the data dump last week, but it was hard to truly let go when I knew I'd still have to deal with WG the next day and the next and the next. But now that's over. I can start to truly decompress.

In other news, I have built myself the most awesomest sky bridge in Minecraft. It goes from one tower to another across a river and I can go between the towers without setting foot on ground. I only died 3 times while trying to get the dang thing built (falling from that high up generally is not a good thing). But now that it is complete, I am so glad I made it because it looks wicked cool from afar when the sun is rising or setting. And it's nice to be able to run over to the other tower to check on my wheat over there at night when all the zombies and things are out prowling. I used to have a pet wolf, but he died. I'm not sure how he died, but it's okay. I was leaving him at home all the time anyway. I could get another one if I wanted.

An open letter to people who create drama

Dear (fill in name here):

I have some news for you. There are 7.036 billion people on Earth (that's what the US Census Bureau calculated according to the Wikipedia). Let's say you have 100 friends, that's about .0000000142% of the population. Which means that there are still OVER SEVEN BILLION people who don't give a shit about you. So the 2 or 3 people who are actually out to get you are less than a drop in the bucket. Don't waste your time dealing with them.


The only person your drama hurts is (get this) YOU. Making a stink about the one person who said something nasty to/about you only serves to keep those words in your mind. Fussing at people who care about you enough to try to help only serves to make them less patient and less willing to help you the next time. You may think to yourself "it's only one person, and they weren't my friend anyway", but that one friend quickly becomes two, then three. Soon you'll find that people you really want to have stick around are (either quietly or not so quietly) slipping away into the night.

You know who you are (actually, you probably don't, but we'll get into that in a moment). You one-up everyone's hard luck stories with one of your own. You always have a reason your life is so much worse. Your Facebook status is always something about how awful things are, or how much pain you're in, or wondering when things will get better. You insist that you don't need or want any drama in your life, but it somehow still finds you.

Remember how I said you know who you are? The truth is that you probably don't. You can see it in someone else, but not in yourself. When a friend gets sick of your crap and leaves you behind, it's always their fault and not yours. Never your fault. But it actually is your fault.

I'm not going to give you advice. You won't listen to it anyway. I'm just going to be one of the ones who quietly slips away into the night. You probably won't even notice that I've deleted you from my Facebook page. I'm sorry I couldn't feed your ego the way you needed. But there are seven billion other people on this planet. I'm sure I can find someone who wants to be a real friend to someone else instead of the center of the universe.

What's she going to do, fire me?

So, as you may or may not know, I have been offered (and subsequently accepted) a new job at a different company. I gave my two week notice last Friday (the 24th). This morning, my coworker was working at my desk today, and she hadn't turned the volume off on her phone yet. I said that I wasn't turning my phone to silent anymore because "what's she going to do, fire me?". We got a good chuckle about that. And it got me to thinking. When did I stop caring about my job? What was the turning point that made me go from content to discontent?

I can pinpoint some instances where I was frustrated by the office environment and my boss, but none of them really were enough to light a fire under me to go job hunting, or consider any offers for interviews that might be extended via LinkedIn. But something this summer made me open to the conversation with the recruiter who eventually was instrumental in getting this new job.

I still like what I do. I still find my assigned tasks interesting and occasionally challenging. But more and more I have found myself saying in my head "I won't miss doing this when I leave". Part of this comes from how many different things are part of my job. Doing everything was all well and good when I still felt like it would be recognized and appreciated. But such was not the case. The amount of feedback provided here is minimal at best, and then it generally only happens when you screw up. I've heard it said that there shouldn't be any surprises in your yearly performance review. Of course, this assumes you get a yearly performance review...

I did have a few surprises in the performance reviews over the years. But overall, my reviews were very very good and I am in a fairly good position in the company. That being said, I am also as far in the company as I think I'd ever be able to go. For all her talk of wanting to get out of day-to-day running of the company, my boss does not want to let go of those things. If I want to grow and learn new things, there's no choice but to leave.

And now I have two weeks left. My last day here will be Sept. 7. Then it is on to new and different things. But for two weeks, I have to show up to work and be present. Even though I've already checked out emotionally, I have a responsibility to do my assigned tasks until I walk out the door on Sept. 7. Turning my phone to silent though? Not happening.

Because, really, what's she going to do, fire me?

Kleenex: Mana from Heaven

I store Kleenex in my pockets like a squirrel hoarding nuts for winter. It is uncommon to see me without a puffed out pocket, because if I am caught without a Kleenex, the results are never pretty. This time of year is always bad, because the seasons are changing. Spring and fall are my worst times of years, allergy-wise. And on rainy days, I am miserable. I joke that people should buy stock in Kleenex, given how much of it I go through. There's a box in my nightstand, a box on the end table by my recliner and a box by my computer. At work, I store a box in my desk drawer (because the office-purchased tissues are the cheap generic kind that leave your hands covered in nose slime). When it comes to facial tissue, I've found that Kleenex are the best for me. Puffs leave lint/lotion in my nose which makes the congestion worse. I blow right through the cheap generic kind, which defeats the purpose of using a tissue. I would have to carry a bag full of handkerchiefs if I was going to go the "environmentally friendly" route, and I'd use a ton of water washing them.

Matt and I started playing Minecraft in cooperative mode on Sunday night. We've got a good system going. He goes off in his silly-looking iron armor and mines underground, while I cut down trees to make sure our supply of wood is sufficient, and then plant saplings so we have a basically neverending supply of wood. I also harvest and replant the wheat we are growing. Wheat is good because it can be used to make bread or cake or cookies, and you can use it to lure various critters (pigs, chickens, cows, sheep) into a pen for easy farming of meat and/or wool (sheeps don't drop meat, just wool). Once you have them penned, you can breed two animals by feeding them wheat. I started us with two pigs. Our current pig count is 5 or 6 (a couple got killed for meat). Then I got us a chicken by throwing eggs at the ground. Still trying to get chicken number two. Last night, I managed to wrangle us two cows. Cows are probably the best animal resource in the game. You get steaks, milk, and leather from them, all of which are high-value resources. I had a wolf that I tamed, but last night he got lost somehow, so I have to try and tame another because I want to go exploring and having a wolf for protection would be useful if I get stuck outside at night. We didn't get as much time to play last night as we would have liked because we got home late, and when we got home I had something that had to be done immediately (if I had known how late we were going to get home, I might have done it before leaving the office, but... whatever).

I just did the experience survey for Red Robin. Their boxes for open-ended responses did not have a very large character limit. What would I do if I was REALLY pissed off? Probably call them and bitch them out. I wasn't completely pissed off, just slightly annoyed that when it came time to leave, our waitress was nowhere to be found, and she walked past our table a couple times without stopping to see how we were, even when I had my wallet out and was fiddling with my credit card.

Did a whole bunch of work this morning only to have someone spaz out that the total number of completes was not right because she missed deleting a respondent she wanted to get rid of. It wouldn't be so bad, but this was the second time I had run this set of tables. We're just going to leave that respondent in the data set.

Calling back people who call you but don't leave a message is a waste of your time. I understand that you're screening your calls so the bill collectors can't find you, but I'm pretty sure they'll leave you a message. No message, no reason to call back. That's how I roll, makes my life so much easier.

I have never worked at a McDonald's, nor do I ever plan to.